A Question of Becoming
by emjoelle
Summary: A college student discovered what she thought she knew about the universe is all wrong when she is unwillingly part of an experiment that made her cybertronian. This came to mind while telling my son transformers bed time stories. Rated T because I get paranoid and it will be T later.
1. Chapter 1

A/N This is my first fic. I get ideas in much the same way as film directors shoot movies. That is completely out of order. The events here actually happen about 2/3 of the way through the big story. It works as a one shot though.

Chapter 1: Identity Crisis

Things started to quiet down for the day as night fell on Cybertron. The setting sun reflected off the metallic street and her shiny black and silver armor like diamonds. Nightshade stopped to enjoy it for a few clicks. At first she missed the sounds of nature from earth but as time passed she realized the hums, the sounds of this planet, were just as peaceful. She had been busy and had very little time to really enjoy her new home. The planet could now sustain life but as of yet it was unclear if new life could be birthed there. Nightshade volunteered to be part of the research team that was working on solving that problem. Even before the transformation she loved science. She loved anything related to biology from as far back as her childhood and now her focus shifted from her old planet and old body to her new one. She headed home to do some studying and to hopefully get a few cycles of recharge in. It had been a while since she felt she really recharged enough. The project alone kept her busy, along with her medical studies with Ratchet she had plenty to think about. She tried to be social and spend time with her "spark mate" if she dared call him that, and her new friends took up the rest of her Come to think of it the last 3 years had been really long! She needed a vacation or at least time for herself.

Back at her place she reclined on her berth, off lined her optics, and initiated the recharge procedure. However, after several nanoclicks the only message on her HUD was something about an error and being unable to engage the protocol. Something felt wrong. Her processor ached. She guessed that this was the Cybertronian equivalent of a nervous breakdown. She was stressed about her studies, her job, and her relationships with her fellow bots. She could not let go of the idea that something terrible was about to happen. Perhaps she was still a bit war weary. She remembered something said in jest by her angry attacker that echoed in her processor. She was told she was not really what she appeared. She began to panic. Nightshade had to talk to someone before she absolutely glitched. The only one she could think of at this point who could prevent it and give her peace of mind she needed was her mentor, Ratchet.

"Ratchet," Nightshade commed, "do you have a couple of nanokliks? I want to, no NEED to see you. The sooner the better." "Sure," Ratchet replied. He could hear the panic in her voice and he knew his charge well enough to know something was up. She didn't usually overreact. "Sending a space bridge now."

Nightshade walked through the spacebridge and almost collapsed. Ratchet could now see her fear. "What happened? What is wrong?" Nightshade tried to play it calm. "I'm having problems recharging. I guess it is about time for a maintenance check anyway." He immediately began a quick scan. "Please, Nightshade! I usually have to hunt down bots for checks and threaten to weld them to the berth to get them to comply. You come willingly, and early? I am touched but I don't believe you just came for maintenance." Ratchet smirked. "You mentioned recharging complicatons huh? When did it start?"

Nightshade cycled air through her vents. A noise like a sob escaped her vocal processor. She spoke so fast most humans would have missed half of what she said. "A few years ago everything was perfect. I had my family, my friends, and I even began the very early stages of training for my dream job. I was going to be a surgeon. Then in a matter of a few days it was all taken away. Sure I was only going to live a vorn but hey that was average. I loved life. Now, I have grieved what I lost and I have adjusted. I have fought on both sides in the same war. The war is over, I have a new family, new friends, I'm still going to be a surgeon but I fear I'm going to lose it all again" Nightshade was certain she was going to go into involuntary stasis lock. Is this what glitching is like? she wondered. "What if it is all in vain? What if I'm not what I think I am? What if I am inferior? What if I really am a failed experiment? What if I don't even get a vorn to live now?'

Ratchet sat down beside her. He could clearly see where this was going. "Let me see if I am understanding you" he said. "In short you don't think you truly are Cybertronian. Am I correct?"

Nightshade simply nodded. He was good. She silently thanked Primus she didn't actually have to say it or she definitely would have glitched.

"Nightshade, Who found you? Cons right? You served how long aboard the Nemesis? I seriously doubt you would have been able to get past both Knock Out and Shockwave if you weren't really Cybertronian. You would have been an experiment all right, in Shockwave's lab, if you even got past Knock Out. That fragging glitch still loves to take things apart and would have had you on his dissection table in half an astrosecond if he expected otherwise. Then we found you. Do you think I don't know a fellow Cybertronian when I see one? I didn't believe your story at first, remember?" He was right about that. She still wasn't completely convinced but at least she was no longer on the edge of a major shutdown.

"You still don't look like you believe me and on the chance that there is something beyond your stress that is causing your problems recharging let's do that maintenance check."

"Let me see your arm. I'm going to show you something now that you will know what you are looking for. Take off the armor on your forearm for a nanoklik." Ratchet scanned it and projected the readings on the med bay's main computer. "What is it composed of, Nightshade? Any earth alloys?" No, it is all of Cybertronian origins, Cybertronium among others" she replied. "Good," he said. He set the armor aside and thumped her arm; there was a soft metallic ring. "See, nothing organic there!" Ratchet grabbed some vials and set them beside Nightshade. "Straighten your arm" Ratchet said as he probed her elbow joint. He found a small energon line and filled one of the vials. Ratchet smiled at her. "I'm not even going to comment on how Cybertronian this is, and what it does to organics. It fills your circuitry." Nightshade smiled. Yeah it was her life blood now. He closed the line and probed deeper for smaller lines and filled a couple of vials with other fluids. He replaced her armor. "Ok, Nightshade lay back" Nightshade complied.. The hum of Ratchet's scanner filled her audios and as she felt the electromagnetic tingle through her body she decided to off line her optics for just a moment.

She on lined her optics to find Ratchet standing over her with a cube of energon. From the smell of it, it was at least mid-grade. "Ayi ayi sit up and drink!" he barked. When she finished ¾ of the cube he spoke again. "Care to tell me when the last time you refueled was? Never mind the last time you got a full recharge. Your energy reserves were almost completely depleted!"

"I can't remember," was all that Nightshade could get out as a reply.

"I thought as much! I am ordering an increase in energon rations for you for the next few days and at least 8 mega cycles of uninterrupted recharge. If your energy reserves aren't back up in the next few days I will be forcing energon in you and welding you to that berth and putting you in stasis. Do I make myself clear? If that fragger of a sparkmate of yours prevents it rest assured I will take great pleasure in welding his pompous, arrogant aft to a berth too." Nightshade could only nod, and smile. She was going to be ok.

"Oh, and just so you know the rest of your 100% Cybertronian body is functioning within normal parameters. I don't know what the future may hold. I do know that eventually we are all going to offline for good. Barring any cataclysmic events you have several hundred thousand vorns to live. You need to focus on living and not on dying. Ok. It doesn't matter where we came from and how we got here. The only thing that matters is where we are going. You are going to rest. Now get out. You are underfoot. I'll see you in 3 earth days. "

Well, There it is. I haven't decided if I will actually publish more. Constructive criticism welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Autumn is Nightshade. This chapter is her background leading up to the kidnapping and her becoming Cybertronian. So I apologize if it is "fluffy" The next chapter will be her transformation. I am trying to keep them coming every week or so, but it may take longer. As I said it comes to me out of chronological order, and life gets in the way. **

**Also, I didn't own the Transformers before and unfortunately I still don't. However Nightshade IS my dear sparkling.**

Chapter 2: The Beginning

Autumn Knight stormed into her dorm room in frustration. "Why do I put myself through this?" she wondered out loud as she threw down her Elementary Robotics and Human Anatomy and Physiology text books. It was the second semester of her sophomore year at university. "What take the maximum number of classes allowed without paying extra and making most of them science classes? Maybe because you are a masochistic nerd with dreams of world conquest?" her roommate Anna Leigh answered as she turned down the radio. Autumn just laughed. "Yep, that is exactly why I do it. Thanks. That is also exactly why we have been friends so long and why we are roomies. You know me so well. "They were polar opposites. Autumn was an analytical perfectionist and Anna Leigh was a dreamy artist who kept her head in the clouds.

"Seriously Anna Leigh, I need your help with something before the end of the week." "Me?" Anna Leigh asked. "How could I possibly help you, oh great one?" "I have a project in Robotics. I need to design a simple robot that could be used in place of something around the house. They already have vacuums. I will come up with the use. I was hoping you could help me with the drawing schematics. "Sure, that's easy." Anna Leigh said." I'll just draw you as a robot. I mean really you'd make a pretty kick ass robot. Just turn yourself into one. You are obsessive in the way you do everything. You would never be happy with any other robot design. I mean, present yourself as a robot to you professor and, wham, instant A."

"Thanks, but no thanks. Even if that were possible, I like me the way I am. I need another idea." Autumn said. "Okay not you then. How about a robot boyfriend instead?" Autumn just rolled her eyes. That was the other thing that was always on Anna Leigh's mind. She was going to be an artist and have someone take care of her. She didn't want to grow up. "Think about it, Autumn. An AI boyfriend can learn but still be programmable. You could make him like the things you like, program him to actually listen to you, and he could give you everything you wanted and not ask for anything in return…if you get my drift" Anna Leigh said smiling.

"Is _that_ all you think about?" I want a human for that too. There is more to relationships than that. Besides I'm not going to settle. The right soul is out there. I'll know him the minute I see him." Autumn said shaking her head. This was not a topic she liked to discuss. She was focusing on her education and her career right now. Romantic relationships got in the way. Even though she didn't believe in fate she knew she'd know somehow. It was illogical but true. Anna Leigh was not yet ready to let the topic go.

"So you believe in soul mates?" Anna Leigh asked. "No" Autumn answered. "Do we have souls? Yeah, but because I'm not sure where it is I don't make it my concern. There may be a soul connection but I believe connections and compatibility has more to do with Chemistry, you know, pheromones and neurotransmitters.

We are part of nature and not as above it as we like to believe we are. I am not going to just settle. Right now if I had to guess I imagine my perfect soul mate would be tall but not too tall, drop dead gorgeous, cared about keeping himself that way, had a somewhat sarcastic sense of humor, is a ginger, and a doctor. "

"oh", Anna Leigh said. Her mind had begun to wander again. "Sounds like he would have the potential to be an ass, but hey whatever you like. Good luck in finding him."

Autumn was getting uncomfortable. She had plenty of studying to do and was about to make excuses to leave when the phone rang. According to the caller ID it was Anna Leigh's boyfriend. "Well, speak of the old devil. I'll get this." Autumn was relieved. She didn't have to sound rude or make excuses to leave. She had plenty of studying to do anyway and had no intention of staying as long as she did. She wanted to trade books and ask Anna Leigh about that assignment. "Okay", she said. I'm headed to the science building to study. IF you need me I'll either be in the Chemistry Lab or the Micro Lab."

What Autumn Night didn't know was that she had spent her last evening on campus, and her life was about to change in ways she never dreamed.

**That's it. That was difficult. The next chapter will be the change. Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Change Initiated

**A/N Sorry for the delay. It has been an extremely busy week.I was going to make this a little longer but I decided to make the actual meeting with the cons a separate chapter. I should have it up by Thursday though. I want to thank everyone who has followed, favorited, and left me reviews. I hope you all are enjoying reading half as much as I am writing it. I'm excited to find out what comes next too, and the way my muse works…well sometimes what comes "next" takes a while to come to me. I had the end of this chapter well before the beginning.**

**This seems like the perfect time to thank Darkrose66, whos OC inspired Nightshade. That started the whole plot bunny that wouldn't hop away. **

**Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own the Transformers. ****L**** Nightshade and Blackhawk are mine, however.**

Autumn never suspected it but there was someone who had taken a great interest in her. If she had she would not have been excited about it and she might have been more cautious. The individuals who had been keeping a close eye on her were interested in her mind. They kept in the shadows and air watching her. If she had known and had been able to spy on them she would have overheard things that would have shocked her. She would have heard things about aliens living among humans hidden in plain sight, wars, treason, government conspiricy, research, ethical dilemmas, as well as things she wouldn't have understood. Things like sparks, Allspark fragments, protoforms, MECH, MECH II, and decepticons.

She was on her way back to the dorm when several large men dressed in black came from the shadows around the science building. "You're coming with us" a voice growled as a hand covered her mouth to prevent her screams. "If you fight us it will only be worse, besides you like science so much you will be pleased to know you will be contributing a great deal to it. The others were going about this the wrong way. You take what you have and work with it. We have plenty of Humans. Just think you will also be part of first contact. We aren't alone in the universe but you knew that didn't you?" Another voice that almost didn't sound human responded "Shut up fool! I hope all of you flesh creatures aren't this stupid. It would be a waste of all of my time. I had higher expectations. Hopefully this one is, and hopefully she is strong enough to endure the process." Autumn heard someone come up behind her and inject her with something. Autumn heard the sound of chopper blades and felt herself being lifted and then fortunately blacked out.

Autumn awoke hours later in incredible pain. She felt like her nerves were a pulsating current. Her skin burned too. She struggled to breathe and her chest ached. She tried to clear her head and guessed this was what being burned and electrocuted while having a heart attack was like. She tried to sit up and figure out where she was but she couldn't move. Her eyes wouldn't focus, or rather they kept shifting focus and it was giving her a headache. She realized she was bound in some sort of lab. She felt something sticky on her chest and arms and assumed she was bleeding. She knew at that point death was inevitable and she welcomed it. She passed out again as the pain intensified.

She awoke again. This time her pain had diminished to a dull ache throughout her body but she could think and her eyes could focus. She seemed to be in some sort of operating room. She heard people in the next room arguing. "It isn't going to work. It hasn't yet. I have no reason to believe this girl is any different. Do you even know what you are doing? I haven't heard anything. She is likely dead like all the others." The alien voice responded calmly "She may be recharging. It is good for her and for us as we don't have to listen to this one scream. It will work. This human is different. Other than being far more intelligent than you she had something in her blood, something that I can't explain. She will endure. She will be one of us. Yes, you will get credit for it. All you humans concern yourselves with is fame and money. I wonder how you evolved to the point did. Yes, you need fame, we need soldiers. That is the only reason I tolerate this and haven't terminated you yet. You call yourselves scientists." "I think we should go check on her"

Autumn had loosened her bonds and was almost free but heard them coming and decided to pretend to sleep. She heard them approach her and counted three human voices as well as the other. "She is alive!" said the one that she recognized from the school. "Indeed, congratulations Dr. Frankenstein" said another younger sounding male voice. Autumn didn't even try to guess what that meant or fathom what she looked like. If she could have seen herself she would have been shocked, but not disappointed. "Move" the alien demanded. He stood over her and Autumn fought from tensing up. She tried to brace herself from pain but only felt an impulse that could only be described as electrical but painless. She then felt pressure he snapped something to her body. "You forgot one thing. The armor is necessary. With that all is perfect. After 3 joors, uh, half an hour of recharge I will return to claim her." "Wait what about our half of the deal?" the oldest asked. "Don't worry about that. You will get what you deserve." He growled as he left.

Autumn was perfectly aware of the time even though she noticed no clock in the room. She knew she had to get out of there. She broke her bonds and for the first time noticed the stick substance she assumed earlier was blood was a deep shade of blue. She was afraid again and resolved to get out and get answers. "What did they do to me? I have to get out now but where am I and where would I go?" she whispered to no one.

Autumn had exactly 10 minutes and 28.3 seconds before they would be back for her. She wasn't sure how she knew that so precisely but it was one thing she was certain of. At that moment she got a break. Screams came from outside along with what sounded like gun fire. Someone was coming in. She used it as a distraction and followed the sounds outside. She slipped by her abductors unnoticed as they were hopelessly fighting what looked like giant mechanical men. She actually laughed for a moment as she remembered her Robotics project and what Anna Leigh had said about robotic boyfriends. She still had not seen herself. It was late evening. Autumn wasn't certain what day but she imagined she was missed back on campus. She considered running back that way. She knew she was west of the campus somewhere and headed out of the setting sun.

The slope of the ground changed and Autumn fell. She couldn't run anymore. She found some low bushes to hide in and hopefully wait until later. She needed a rest. She was drifting off and felt someone behind her. "Calm down, I wont hurt you. You were running from MECH II. Did they hurt you?" a black winged creature like the ones she saw fighting asked. "More than you know" Autumn responded. "Follow me, I'll get you to safety.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: First _Con_tact

**A/N Initially I was not going to have a 2****nd**** OC. I wanted to have other seekers and I considered bringing in another G1 element (I like the Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker Trio) and having Thundercracker find her, but I can't imagine being "rescued" by him! That and he would be likely end up being so ooc that he'd be unrecognizable. I didn't want Nightshade rescued by a vehicon member of the armada so my new seeker, Blackhawk, was born. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Transformers. Just my OCs. **

They began to run. The battle got closer and they seemed to be surrounded by gunfire and explosions. "We have to move fast. I'll contact the Nemesis and let them know what is happening and to expect us. I haven't heard from Commander Starscream in the last several minutes. That is unusual and troubling." The black and green mech informed Autumn. "It's safe to assume you can't fly. Am I correct?" he asked. "No" she replied. The thought terrified her. She always hated heights. "Well this may take longer than I hoped. They are engaged also. If MECH II and the renegade traitor weren't bad enough to deal with, those accursed Autobots decided this would be a good time to attack too." Autumn was surprised she could run so quickly and that she wasn't getting winded. They found a small cave to take cover in. The battle continued but they were hidden and safe from detection.

For the first time that evening Autumn had time to actually think. "Who are you?" she asked him. "_What_ are you?" She noticed her body for the first time. "What am _I_?" she almost sobbed. The rush was starting to wear off and was being replaced by fear. Her frame shook visibly. "Sorry there wasn't time for introductions back there. My designation is Blackhawk. I am a Cybertronian mech and a seeker in the Decepticon Army. You, sweet spark, are a Cybertronian femme. It is okay." He tried to reassure her. I'm just a soldier not a scholar but judging by your reaction either you have some memory problems due to your captivity by MECH II, or you were not born Cybertronian. Right? She nodded. "You're right on the second count. My name is Autumn Knight and until I was kidnapped a day or so ago I was a human college student studying Biology."

Blackhawk shook his helm. "I don't know how they did it nor do I want to, but you better keep that piece of information to yourself when we get to the Nemesis. Lord Megatron should know but outside of him it needs to be completely secret. I don't want to see you hurt further. You've been through enough. As far as my superiors are concerned you were a neutral scientist captured by MECH and they messed with you processors and you lost most of your memory before the other day. It is believable. We've known MECH to be dangerous for a while now. This second group that calls themselves MECH is worse. Besides they won't question a femme. You'll see why when we get there. You need another name. Autumn Knight isn't exactly Cybertronian."

"I wish to keep my surname if at all possible." Autumn said. "Knight… night. We have been keeping in the shadows. How about Nightshade?" Blackhawk suggested. "Yes, and also a potentially deadly family of plant life, that looks harmless enough. It works." Nightshade replied.

The sounds of the battle continued. Blackhawk informed Nightshade that he still had not heard anything from either of his superiors and felt that because the battle was continuing to get closer he feared their cover was about to be blown. At that moment an explosion went off above them. "Get down" Blackhawk yelled as he threw himself over Nightshade. "I didn't come this far for this". What appeared to be the rest of the armada flew overhead. Blackhawk didn't see Starscream with them. "This is really bad" he thought. They fired at a couple of Cybertronians who ran ahead of the humans. "Traitors" Blackhawk screamed. "If I could and didn't have you to watch I would personally chase them, rip out his spark while he stood there and burn the humans with it one by one until it was completely extinguished. To desert during a war is bad enough but to betray your whole people for that. Fragging glitch doesn't deserve such a quick death!" Blackhawk's optics were glowing like lit coals with fury at this. It was not lost on Nightshade and she was once again terrified.

The armada flew over and Blackhawk decided it would be wise to follow them. "Do you have an Alt. Mode?" Blackhawk asked Nightshade. "A what?" "Then I take that as a no. It would be quicker even if you didn't fly if you at least had your wheels." He briefly explained transforming to her. Hopefully being close to the interstate they could find something but if not she could find an excuse later to find her disguise.

"I've commed Lord Megatron. He is expecting you and wants to meet you immediately when we board. When I transform grab my wing and we will rejoin the armada and return to the Nemesis. They were ambushed by Autobots and are retreating back for repairs. We will fall in." The thought of flying made her nauseated, especially the thought of flying outside the plane. This day was getting stranger by the minute and she was sure she would wake up soon. She reached for his wings. "Not yet. Not in this form. Grab them once I'm a jet. Wings are sensitive like this." He transformed and Nightshade was in shock. She took his wing and held on for dear life.

**Well… that's it for now. It is late. They will meet Megatron, Starscream, and Knockout in the next chapter. The events will then be around those of the Human Factor. I was going to add it to this one but sleep calls, and I actually wanted to post while it is still Thursday. XD I only hope I can keep the Decepticons in character and mean enough. I've never written villains before. Please review. Thanks**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Nemesis Me

**A/N Thanks again for the encouragement everyone who responds whether through faves and follows. Cookies to you. And by reviewing. Double cookies for you. I am going to try to only have chapters that somehow move the plot along. However, I have had ideas for funny tid bits that don't necessarily extend the plot. For example the conversation Nightshade and Blackhawk have about transforming. We know how it happens so I didn't elaborate but it is actually funny. The way Nightshade finally gets her Alt Mode is another. I'll will write a companion fic that will be entitled ****Life in the Fast Lane****. It will be up soon. By the way Nightshade chooses a Corvette, with Knockout's help of course. The timeline is slightly different as Starscream has already rejoined the Cons and has the armada.**

**Private communication between characters will be ****_in italics. _**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs. The cannon characters belong to Hasbro. **

In her panic Nightshade gripped Blackhawk's wing so hard it was causing him pain. _"I won't let you fall, Nightshade"_ Blackhawk assured her as he magnetized the top of his left wing. He laughed. _"I never thought I would use this upgrade to attach a femme to myself. Mention this to no one or I'll never live it down. I'll hurt you if you do. Oh, and you're not hearing voices in your head. This is your comm system. You can answer me on this frequency." _Nightshade began to relax, but she still wasn't sure she was not going to purge her tanks. _"Thanks, but whatever happens from here on I'm just going to go with it without much question. I'm still not sure I'm not dreaming." "We will be home shortly. Seriously, a piece of advice when you meet Lord Megatron stay calm, be respectful, and you should be fine.""I have no problem respecting authority"_ she answered. Nightshade never considered herself rebellious and did what she could to stay out of trouble and frankly to avoid any confrontation with authority figures.

Home, she heard that word and finally reality hit. She wasn't human anymore. She wouldn't be able to see her home. She must be reported missing now and they won't find her body. There would be a memorial service and she would be dead to her family and friends. She would have a new home now, new friends and a new family. Her old ones wouldn't understand even if she could go back. She felt she might lose it but realized this would be a bad place for that. She considered Darwin's theory. You survive only if you adapt and adapt she would, if this turned out to in fact not be a dream. She survived to become a different species after all. She had to consider this just another step in evolution. She had evolved and she would adapt. She thought she remembered her captor saying something about she would survive because she was different. I can do this. I have to. She told herself.

She became aware they were slowing and entered a large black space craft. _Here we are, Home sweet Home. Nightshade, Welcome aboard the Nemesis." _She got off as Blackhawk transformed. The damaged mechs headed for the med bay "Well, let's go see Megatron"

They stepped onto the bridge of the Nemesis. Nightshade's optics had adjusted to the dim red lighting but even in the relative darkness it was difficult to miss the towering silver mech standing there and his glowing red optics locked on her. "Good evening Nightshade. It is good to meet you. We have much to discuss" the warlord greeted Nightshade. Fear gripped her spark. She understood immediately why she was warned to stay calm and why he was in charge. She remembered she was more valuable to him alive right now. He looked at Blackhawk. "You may leave us now." Megatron turned back to Nightshade. "It seems you have had an interesting encounter with one we have been following. It seems he has achieved what he set out to do. Are you aware of others like yourself? Tell me everything you remember!" Nightshade took a nanoclik to get her thoughts together. "No, sir. I don't believe there were any others like me. Not because they didn't try. I wasn't their first attempt." "The beginning, Nightshade." The warlord interrupted. "I was coming from the lab. It was dark. Someone grabbed me from behind and said something about me getting to contribute to science in a huge way and informed me that humans are indeed not alone in the universe. I heard another voice, a cybertronian one tell him to shut up. He said something about humans being foolish but saw something in me he believed to be different. I was shot with something. I head a sound, someone transforming, and then felt myself being lifted in a helicopter. I woke up in terrible pain. It was like I was being cut, burned, electrocuted and having a heart attack. I went unconscious again. ""How do you know you weren't first?" Megatron asked. "When I woke up they were arguing. They thought I was dead like the others. The cybertronian said I wasn't. He said there was something different about my blood or brainwaves and that I would be one of them. They argued about payment and the cybertronian said he tolerated them because he needed soldiers. I broke out of my bonds and as soon as I heard explosions outside I left. Blackhawk found me. He said something about wanting to rip out his spark. I would have liked to myself."

"Interesting" Megatron replied. "Thank you. You have been very helpful, and I believe you will continue to be so. You know the area and have seen what he is capable of. Would you know him if you saw him again?" "It was dark. I am completely sure I would recognize his voice if I heard it. I'm not sure I would know him by sight alone." She answered. "Well enough. Knockout will be waiting to see you. Should he declare you fit, I have two things I do not tolerate, weakness and treason. You will train and prove yourself strong and loyal or you will be terminated. It will be painful. Blackhawk will escort you to the med bay." Megatron turned back to the main computer, and commed Knockout to inform him of a new recruit. He told Knockout only to be thorough. Just then the door slid open and Blackhawk entered. .

"Wow, impressive. I have seen mechs go into involuntary stasis or nearly purge their tanks after their first meeting with him. Great job. You look as if you just had a chat with an old friend." Blackhawk told her. "I certainly don't feel like that. I understand wanting to purge!" They arrived at the med bay just in time to hear an energon chilling scream. "Oh yeah, Doc's designation may be Knockout but that doesn't necessarily mean he always believes in anesthesia. I think sometimes he is a little bit sadistic." Blackhawk warned her. "I'll try to remember to remain undamaged" she whispered.

The door to the med bay opened. Knockout had his back to it and was repairing Starscream's wing and shoulder. "Oww! Doctor! The wing is sensitive you know. Oww!" Starscream said squirming. "I know that, commander! Now for the hundredth time, hold still. This is delicate circuitry. Starscream just grunted something unintelligible. "Look, personally I don't care if you ever fly again. However, what good is a grounded seeker to Lord Megatron? I'm sure Blackhawk would love to take over as SIC. He should anyway. He has better sense than to fly blindly into an autobot ambush. Do I need to check you optics and processor afterwards, or were you trying to offline yourself in a blaze of glory? I spent a long time repairing this you know. l should have just gotten you a bright pink replacement one. It would have looked stunning with a purple servo and your thrusters I'm sure and I would have been through half the armada by now" Knockout turned off the pain receptors in Starscream's arm and finished quickly. "Well, you can start now." Starscream barked as he got off the berth. "No, I have a maintenance check to complete on a new recruit first. I believe I just heard him enter." "Him? Starscream said as he slid off the berth. "If that's a mech, I'm Primus!" "Get out of here before I decide you _need_ that cosmetic surgery commander!"

"Going! But She is undamaged. I have those from the fight that need attention, Knockout. I am your commanding officer, you know." Knockout noticed the dried energon on her shoulder. "Undamaged is she?' he said. "I supposed you think femmes randomly leak energon then? Besides I have orders from Lord Megatron. If you would like to discuss it with him I will be waiting to replace your limbs again when that conversation ends."

He turned to Nightshade and scanned her quickly. It was as if she felt his optics go through her. She had never had the so called white coat syndrome but thought there is a first for everything. She was still not completely convinced she wasn't Alice in wonderland and would wake up from this dream.

"So, Nightshade, I'm Knockout. Forgive the commander for being rude. He was just leaving." He gave Starscream a warning look. "I'm sure you have made quite the impression around here as there are not many femmes aboard. The few femmes that were here once left an impression to say the least. Please, join me." He led her to the exam berth. "I hear you had an unfortunate encounter with M.E.C.H. You have my sympathies. I too, suffered a loss at their hands. It is fortunate and impressive you were able to escape." "I was able to outsmart and out run them. I hope I could have fought my way out. Glad it wasn't necessary. I was unconscious through most of it and have little memory of what happened before"

"Oh, I'll check for processor damage in a minute, but first things first." She winced as he touched her incision. "That is beginning to heal. It will, but left unaided it will leave an ugly scar. It would be dreadful to allow it to ruin your cute frame. I'll see to it that doesn't happen. Hold still." He begun to weld the cut closed. It stung and she resisted jumping. "Perfect! Now let me see if they did any damage to your spark chamber. Lay back and open up." Knockout scanned her spark chamber and spark. "Perfect better than perfect actually. If they were trying to dissect you they were clueless. It is like they were…oh never mind." "Transform." He commanded. She collapsed into her SUV that she had quickly scanned before boarding. "T-cog function is fine but you really need another form. A sporty alt to fit the normal youl I'll help you find one." Knockout completed an in depth internal scan. She's almost too perfect he thought. "What happened while you were there?" Knockout asked her again. "I..I don't remember. I was unconscious." Nightshade answered. "Oh yes. Your processor may be damaged" Knockout checked her system but by no surprise to him it to was well within normal limits. "It is fine. Let me know when your memory comes back.

" I was on Earth as a scientist studying the native life and looking for energon reserves which seem the planet seems to have a bountiful supply. I seem to remember I had an interest in medicine but beyond that. No I have no memory past the capture." Knockout looked at her. "Science and medicine huh? You could work with me or perhaps Shockwave. Lord Megatron will find a place for you no doubt. You are physically perfect. You may go. I will send my report and Lord Megatron will let you know when he is ready for you."

Blackhawk escorted her out for a grand tour.

**No cliff hanger this time. Cylas and the events of The human factor in the next chapter. Nightshade shows her con side.**

**Blackhawk: I can explain. Em has been dealing with an "infection" in her ventilation system this week. She finally took her stubborn self to her doctor and she has taken Rx cough syrup. She is delusional. Hence, the outlandish second half of the chapter. I hope, for Nightshade's sake, she is herself before she posts the next chapter. She should have gotten her processor checked while she was there. **

**Me: Hawk, you don't need to apologize for me. But an apology is necessary for the delay. That is why it took longer for me to finish. Thanks. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. I tried to be funny but still keep the cons in character. Tips welcome. Just keep in mind my "infection" as Hawk put it. It was a chest cold that wouldn't go away. Leave me alone, Blackhawk. As far as you're concerned I am Primus!**

**Blackhawk: What? You are NOT You ARE delusional. He wasn't, isn't and never will be a squishy femme. Now go recharge! *points null ray at author***

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	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Only _Human_?

**A/N Set a couple of weeks after the last chapter. It will be relatively short. Initially I wrote a long chapter but took most of it out. I will add it later. I often wish my story actually came to me in order. Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers. I only own my OCs.**

It had been a busy couple of weeks on the Nemesis. Nightshade was slowly beginning to adjust to her new life and she was beginning to view the Decepticons as her family. It was odd at first being the only female on board. She got a lot of "looks" but no one tried anything. Blackhawk was extremely protective of her when he was around much like a big brother would be. She was surprised that Knockout was protective of her. She was not sure what role he was in her "family" yet.

Nightshade later learned that the previous femmes had been quite intimidating and had a reputation. No one wanted to take unnecessary chances. She was quickly learning her weapons systems and battle techniques and actually enjoying fighting. She preferred close range hand to hand. Before the training she didn't realize how much grief she was really experiencing. It was helping her work through the anger phase.

When she wasn't working out she was studying. She snuck data pads in her quarters to learn the things she was supposed to already know about Cybertron and build her history. Nightshade learned about some questionable practices that went on during the early part of the war and began to piece together why she was selected in the experiment. The scientists attempted to "play Primus" in an attempt to get stronger smarter soldiers. It was frightening. While she liked her "upgrade" it came with its downfalls and she missed humanity. Was she supposed to be here? She heard Knockout mention her "perfection" Did he suspect something was amiss? With all that was going on as well as occasional skirmishes with the Autobots she had very little time to think about what might be happening with her old family which was fortunate. One skirmish brought with it an interesting weapon. It was a weapon that brought back feelings Nightshade thought she had dealt with and she wasn't alone.

"Breakdown's signal has come back online, albeit corrupted" Knockout announced. "Investigate with caution in case it is an Autobot trick" Megatron warned. Nightshade stood behind Knockout and the being who called himself C.Y.L.A.S. after they returned. He had a proposition for Megatron in exchange for being allowed to be one of them. Nightshade couldn't believe her audios. He wanted to be like this. What she would have given in that moment to not be. She felt only fury. She knew that although he wasn't directly involved Silas was the leader of MECH the parent group of the group that kidnapped her. She believed his desire to be Cybertronian and his whole attitude was mocking both humans and cybertronians. Nightshade fought the urge to offline him with her own servos. Megatron wanted to see what he had. The skirmishes had been frustrating and anything to tip the scales in their favor would have been welcome. He already had a human factor that was working for him. Nightshade was sure Silas knew it too.

After Silas's failure Nightshade saw her opportunity. "Knockout," Nightshade asked as her optics glowed, "may I please assist you in the dissection or at least watch?" Knockout read her emotion and saw where she was going. "You like to take things apart too huh? Of course you may. I'll need you to document our findings. You may want to turn down your audios." He answered as he zapped Silas again with his energon prod. "No. I want to hear every scream. It is like music. Sweet revenge!" As she helped strap him down Nightshade had an idea. "You know, Lord Megatron mentioned he would be an interesting case for study but, it is Breakdown's body so other than neural connections to his human consciousness what would you really learn from simply dissecting him that you don't already know? Surely he can contribute something to the cause other than our amusement." Knockout laughed. "You're right. I have been working on synthetic energon. It is unstable and has painful side effects. I wouldn't ask anyone to be a test subject after I saw what it did to the Autobot medic who was stupid enough to try it on himself however with this creature we could perhaps find a stable use. If not he can at least be a living petri dish" He transformed his buzz saw back to a hand. "I'll be back. I have to get the supplies."

"So you are the one they crossed over?" Silas asked as he struggled against his restraints. "The failed experiment? How long do you think you'll survive? Do you really think you're Cybertronian?" He teased. "Definitely longer than you will, human." Nightshade answered. "Who's the experiment now? Who does he think he is? I should knock him out now. Nightshade thought. She clenched her fists. "Yes, I am. I am Cybertronian. The very thing you only wish you were, parasite." With that she punched him as hard as she could in the voice box. "You talk too much. I'd rather you scream." She transformed her hands into cannons.

Just then Knockout returned. "What? Now you want him in pieces. Femme, make up your mind." Knockout said as he turned his hand into his saw again. "Let's at least do it in an orderly way that wont blow up my lab too." "Sorry doc. Unicron has no wrath like a pissed off femme" She said. "Well your training has paid off. You shut him up. Let's see if we can make him scream again." Knockout took some energon from Silas and then injected him with the synthetic energon. "We'll see where we are in the process. If this works it will be great for repairs and on the battle field." Knockout saw Nightshade holding her servo. "Are you okay? Let me take a look." "I'm okay. It will heal." Nightshade answered. She left the lab for a much needed recharge. The screams were making her processor hurt.

Knockout heard the whole conversation between Nightshade and CYLAS. Nightshade wasn't Cybertronian? Of course she was. He knew they captured her but what else would she be? She was perfect. Perhaps too perfect. Knockout had more questions now about the pretty femme. Questions he would that he would answer.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Family Matters

**A/N Thanks for sticking with me. Just a heads up. Nightshade won't be with the Cons much longer at all.. I'm having some degree of writers block so that is why I am late with the update. I have the ending already but I am not sure how I want to get there. I will make corrections with previous chapters as soon as I figure out how. **

Nightshade was tired, so much so that she recharging was becoming difficult. It seemed that she had way too much information to process. She gathered up all the data pads she could on recent Cybertronain history specifically the political situation just before the war, the schisms between the Decepticons and Autobots, and technological developments the Decepticons made. She came across some that she quickly believed she was never supposed to see, specifically on D.N.A and C.N.A research. The decipticons apparently toyed with some less than ethical practices in an attempt to get stronger smarter solders. There were articles on cyber forming individuals and even entire planets. She found the details on exactly what happened to her and she was sick. She never asked for it and was more than a little bit surprised she survived.

The whole atmosphere seemed to have shifted. Nightshade couldn't place it but things were definitely more tense than it had been in previous weeks. Shockwave recently came back on board with ideas about how to speed along the process of forming synthetic energon. He was also working on a shady cloning project. Nightshade didn't like his reasons for doing it. She and Knockout had been working on it for almost a month. The plan was to have it for surgeries and battlefield wounds. Shockwave mentioned it was a major ingredient in cyber-matter. That she determined was ultimately what changed her. Megatron spoke of victory being just around the corner. He said it would be swift and Cybertron would be his. However, Nightshade overheard him talking with his scientists about ruling Earth as well, a cyber-formed Earth. It was all she could do to continue like the information didn't bother her. It was more difficult to pretend to be excited about it. Blackhawk was out on more missions and she had no one to vent her frustrations to so her attitude was terrible. It made her more determined not to allow anything to happen to her family, her biological one or her new cybertronian one. That was assuming she could still consider any of the decepticons as family members.

Megatron sent the armada, Shockwave, Knockout and Nightshade down to do some preliminary scouting of the planet for information on the best places to begin the cyber-forming as soon as the energon was ready.

Nightshade's depression and bad attitude was not lost on Knockout. "Primus, Nightshade do tell, what is wrong with you? You actually seem unhappy about this. We are winning. We will have two homes in the process. Please don't tell me you care about the humans that much. You said they were superstitious. They will assume the gods are coming as the world ends." Nightshade only shook her helm. She was glad at this point that she didn't have the physical ability to cry. "Are you going soft? You joined us. Are you really one of us? Are you really even Cybertronian?" At that point Nightshade snapped like she did with CYLAS months ago. Anger and grief washed over her again and she turned on him.

"My family is important. My planet is important. I won't let them be hurt like I was. You're right. I am not what I seem." She turned only to hear Knockouts buzz saw. "What are you then? Megatron's orders to the pit. I'll dissect you where you stand" He put it right at her chasis. "Unless you talk and I mean now!"

"I'll tell you truth. Truth is I lied to protect myself from further pain. I wasn't born Cybertronian and I didn't choose to be one. I was taken from my studies by one of you, a 'con, and given to M.E.C.H. and cyber-formed. I was human. My biological family and old friends are all human. I never want them to experience what I did. I don't want them to die either. Do you have any idea what that process is like, Doctor!" He said nothing so she continued. "I was burned, electrocuted with spark energy effectively stopping my heart and killing me. They didn't let me stay dead though. Every drop of blood was drained from by body and then my veins refilled with cyber matter and my heart restarted with the same electricity. It flowed through my veins melting them away as well as every other squishy organ replacing it with circuits and wires. My heart was ripped out and replaced with an allspark fragment. Im not sure how exactly but it formed my spark. I came to consciousness with an ache throughout my body. I wasn't first, innocents were murdered in failed attempts. I lived because of blood chemistry/energon compatibility and neural/spark energy compatibility. It was a fluke." She screamed. "I wont let it happen again."

Nightshade threw herself at Knockout. "Get the frag off me now!" He threw her off. I told you I wouldn't hurt you. I wont." She didn't believe him. She transformed and drove off. She constantly checked her mirrors expecting him to follow. He didn't and she almost lost it. He isn't coming she thought. He doesn't even care enough to come drag me back to Megatron for mutiny. She was so upset she didn't realize that was a good thing.

Knockout stood there fighting every impulse to chase her. He could have easily caught her too if their races had been any indication of her speed. He didn't because then he would have to bring her back. He wouldn't hurt her, nor would Megatron. He was still in disbelief as that was the very last thing he expected to hear. He was furious with everything. He was furious it happened. He was annoyed that he allowed himself to be 'soft' to let himself get close to someone else. There was a reason to avoid any kind of feelings during war. People died. People deserted. Slag it to the pit he thought as he went back to work. He would come up with some kind of excuse as to why she left and where she went.

Nightshade drove for miles and several breems until she was far enough away for the cons to find her. She was lost but didn't care. She transformed to stretch her legs and found she was near a military base. "Slag. Primus does hate me" she said out loud. She was about to transform and drive off when she was approached by a large green mech. "Don't move 'Con" he ordered. Wrecker she thought. She had heard about them and he had to be one.

"I'm not going to beg for my life Autobot. It isn't worth it. Just terminate me quickly and promise me you will do the same to every last Decepticon in the universe." Nightshade whispered. "That has always been the plan" he answered. Nightshade welcomed death at the hands of an enemy. She heard the click of his weapons and braced herself. After all she already died once. In the distance there was a deep commanding voice. "Bulkhead, wait" The next thing she knew she was surrounded by headlights.

**Well there it is. She has met the 'Bots. So what did you think? Sorry about the first half and the delay. I hate writers block. I just needed to get to this point. Cons are hard for me to write. odd considering how much as I love them. If you need a light read and havent read it my companion fic is up. I will be updating it soon. **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: New Perspectives

Optimus 'requested' that Nightshade follow the five Autobots back, although she knew it wasn't just a request. She wasn't going to argue. She was in no mood to fight. She never wanted to be involved in this war anyway. He story aboard the Nemesis was that she was a neutral. Why couldn't she just be one? Her thoughts began to wander and it wasn't long before the convoy of 'Bots and ex-'Con rolled into the Autobot base.

It took Nightshade a while to get over the shock. They didn't kill her after all. It was a fact that went against everything she expected and believed about her former enemy, and she still wasn't sure what was coming. She was almost expecting them to torture her for information. She didn't think they had a psychic patch. Why else did the Prime want her alive? Still any interrogation methods they could use were better than what she would get at Megatron's servos. She had seen first-hand Decepticon 'mercy'.

Still the biggest shock to Nightshade was seeing humans at the base, normal seemingly healthy humans, working alongside the Autobots. It was the first time since having a full understanding of what was going on that she felt genuine hope. They didn't stay long. Ratchet hurried them out of the way as a precaution. As far as they knew they had a dangerous Decepticon prisoner That fact was what broke Nightshade out of her contemplative mood.

"What is going on? What is your mission?" the Prime asked Nightshade after they sat down. He was unusually patient. "As odd as it sounds all I want is to get away from war, from the Decepticons, from death, pain, and disappointment. I wish more than anything I could go home. I want my family back; I'd take the cons back if they were not so deceptive." "Decepticons are deceptive, really?" Ratchet asked. The connection between that fact and their name finally sank in and Nightshade laughed. "That is the most infuriating. What they plan on doing to Earth, to my friends, my planet" Nightshade realized she sounded very much like a lost sparkling in spite of her training. She didn't care. She was tired of games and tired of lies. She felt very much like a child. The bots didn't hide the fact that this was not what they were expecting. "Your planet? You mean Cybertron, correct?" asked Arcee. No, I mean Earth, they want to cyber form it and effectively destroy everything that isn't as lucky as I" Nightshade sighed "I sound like a sparkling, I am sorry. "Nightshade acknowledged. "It has been a long 18 months." She vented slowly. "I guess you want the beginning of the story."

"No! Primus…No!" was all Ratchet was able to say after hearing her story. "If I wasn't looking at you I would say it isn't even possible. I'm still not sure I trust my optics."

Nightshade got up and walked to the other side of the room. "I'm relieved that you have been defending Earth. It helps to know I'm not doomed to being evil or alone, as ridiculous as that sounds, I was beginning to think I may have to offline myself. I've never been suicidal before though. I usually have it more together." _Gotta think like a scientist again,_ she thought. "I will give you any information I have about the current stage in the process. I don't think they are far from ready but the Synth-En in cyber matter is still unstable. They never got the formula from the renegade 'Con that did this to me. I want to defend my biological family. I want to get back at those that betrayed me"

"Any help you can offer will be appreciated, Nightshade. We will do everything we can to not let it come to that. We have come to consider this our home as well." Optimus said. "I want to caution you not to fight for the wrong reasons. Vengeance is a wrong reason. Until you get used to these differences I suggest you not actually engage them in battles. You will stay at base, use your talents, work with Ratchet and perhaps we can bet the cons to the formula and save Cybertron. Ratchet is rough around the edges but he will be a good guardian and teacher for a little while"

"Ay I heard that Optimus!" Ratchet muttered.

** A/N: Another short chapter. Up next meeting the kids and beginning her apprenticeship in Ratchet's Repair School. **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Hope's Sparkling

**A/N: Sorry for the lack of action scenes. It story has almost made its way back to the beginning. This chapter is meeting the bots and establishing her mentor relationship Ratchet.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the transformers. Nightshade is mine, however. **

After the interrogation session everyone was sure Nightshade wasn't a threat to them and wasn't going to go back to the Decepticons. Nightshade wanted to meet the kids. She told them it had been too long since she could interact with humans who didn't want to kill her or that she didn't want to kill.

"So welcome to Team Prime, also known as the good guys. Bulk here says you weren't always a bot. That is cool. Make me one too!" Miko said. "No absolutely not!" Ratchet answered.

"Believe you really don't want to experience what it took to be like this." Nightshade said quietly. She hated thinking about it and she definitely wasn't going to explain it again to a teenager.

"The universe isn't ready for a Mikobot" Jack told her. "You'd be dangerous to more than just cons if you had weapons and wheels. You'd hurt us and yourself!" Miko just rolled her eyes.

"So If you could be human again would you?" she asked Nightshade. When Nightshade hesitated in her response Miko assumed the answer was no. "See I told you it is a good thing"

"Miko, I would never wish this on anyone. If it were possible, and if I could do it without the pain of getting this way then more than likely I would. I lost everything. My family thinks I'm dead, my dreams of being a doctor are gone. I couldn't tell the first 'friends' I had in fear of them killing me. I'm am an alien now. I have to start completely over. In so many ways I feel like I'm just a sparkling."

Bumblebee rolled in as she was speaking. "**Hey sparkling**" Bee was almost laughing as he spoke.

"Sparkling? Bee I'm at least as old as you! I just said after all this I feel like one. " Nightshade told him.

"Hardly", Arcee corrected her. "Bee has a couple of million years on you, Nightshade."

"I didn't mean literally of course. If you take into account the life span differences. He is young." Nightshade said. "I guess im looking for common ground. "You like to race Bee? That was something I picked up from Knockout. Of course without the attempts to run you off the road. I prefer fair racing."

"**Sure thing. I will definitely take you up on the challenge later. If we can sneak out. Right now I have to take Raf home before he gets in trouble. See ya in a few."** Bee told her as he let Raf in and left.

Ratchet was standing in the background listening. If Nightshade was going to be his charge for a few weeks he wanted to really know what he was up against. It had been a couple of million years since he had been around younglings for an extended period of time. Yes, Nightshade was at least a youngling. Judging by the end of the conversation he wasn't sure if he had the patience for it. _Bee was like that at first when he signed up. His family was gone and he was looking for a place among us. The war and his experiences made him grow up. Nightshade will too. I'm sure she has already in such a short time._ He told himself. _Perhaps we have something in common despite the age and experience._ I'll will make this work. _For my sanity and Pirme's._

"Nightshade, don't go and get Bee in trouble now. Youre right he is youngHe has done some juvinile things in the past but he is also wise beyond his years. He was part of the last generation to be born on Cybertron. He lost much too." Ratchet told Nightshade.

"Yet he still continues to hope, in spite of everything?" Nightshade asked with some hint of disbelief.

"Sometimes that is all we have to hold on to. It is why we fight. We hope for better things. Having another planet and something outside of ourselves to fight for gave us hope too. Let me ask you something. Why did you want to offline? You lost your hope didn't you? I saw something in your optics when you met Miko. She too is young and inspires hope, when she is not breaking things like her clumsy guardian." She gave you back your hope didn't she? And if I am not mistaken the prospect of racing Bee gave you joy. Ratchet told her.

Nightshade could see Ratchet was definitely perceptive. She guessed that was a good thing. It would save her from having to say things later maybe. "You're right" she said finally. "It has been hard. I was ready to quit. I tried to imagine it as natural evolution and somehow I was better than all the others. I tried to keep busy to keep myself from thinking too much but I had to read several files on Cybertronian history at least to know things that were common knowledge so that I could keep up the lie. I am so tired of secrets."

"Nightshade, there is absolutely nothing natural about any of what happened to you and you know that. I look at you and I believe you but truth is I really don't want to believe it. The cons were doing some unethical things at the beginning of the war but it surprises me that eve they would stoop as low as to involve another species. It is pure desperation on their part, and none of it will be right. However you are you and you make the best of what is given to you. Part of that is allowing yourself to grieve. You're not immune to that as a Cybertronian and running from it is just as bad for you now as it was for you as a human. You need to process everything that happened to you. You don't need to pretend it didn't happen. It is part of healing. We have protocols that we can engage to detach ourselves from feelings in battle. That is necessary to keep ourselves alive but afterwards we have to process it." Ratchet told her.

"On a different subject I think Knockout has had a bit too much influence on you. You need to get him off your processors immediately. I never understand femme's desire to flirt with danger."

"Maybe" Nightshade answered. That was one subject she wasn't going to talk about. She was still bitter and she would work it out. She knew Ratchet was right too. He definitely would not approve of her if he knew what she thought about Knockout. She was mentally kicking herself as it was. She wasn't sure how she knew he would disapprove so strongly. Maybe because her dad would have. Ratchet reminded her of her dad.

"Nightshade, did I hear you say you were studying biology in college and had hopes of being accepted into medical school when you graduated?" Ratchet asked her.

"Yes," she answered. "I planned on becoming a surgeon…like my dad." Her voice was suddenly soft.

"Is that something that still appeals to you? I mean if this war drags on much longer and we find more Autobots to join the cause I will definitely need help. I am no youngling like yourself. If this war ends soon and we are able to restore Cybertron and it can sustain life, we will need new doctors. We will need someone to teach the new generation." He had only considered that part recently. "I will teach you."

Nightshade could barely believe her audios. She had lost hope of that dream too with the thought of having to start completely over. She had given up on formal training. "Yes! Please!' she answered.

"Ok absolutely no slagging off! You will have to work hard." He turned and grabbed some data pads off the counter. "Read these this weekend. No time to waste. We don't have that luxury. We also unfortunately don't have the luxury of the labs on Cybertron so this will be an interesting and educational experience for both of us. It will be hands on field work I am afraid. "

"I wont slag off" Nightshade promised. "Well then" Ratchet told her. "Welcome to Repair School you will be busy the next few days" he muttered "sparkling mine" under his breath.

She was determined to make him proud. Just as proud as her own dad would be if he could know. She was trying to process it all. Nightshade had never given birth but she imagined excitement and joy after hours of pain. She thought it was something like this. Perhaps she had given birth in a figurative sense. She gave birth to hope's sparkling.

.


End file.
